I know that it's taken me longer than normal to write this part of the story, but to be completely honest, I just didn't want to do it and am forcing myself right now. This part of the story is not happy and a time in our lives that I would rather not relive, but again, I'm doing this for Caleb so that he knows later on what has transpired to get him (and us) to where we are today.
As soon as our doctor said that, Jes popped up and looked over the curtain. Truth be told, he had really just sat down after watching the incision and beginnings of the surgery. Jes was just fascinated with the process and loved watching what was going on.
As our doctor was pulling Caleb out, he discovered that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, not an uncommon or life threatening issue at the point. When this happens the delivering professional just pulls it from around the baby's neck so as to avoid future issues. As the doctor did that, the umbilical cord came off in his hand, thus his comment.
Caleb was quickly delivered, wrapped up, assessed and Jes left with him to go to the nursery. There was special care to remove the placenta in tact so that the pathologist could fully examine it to determine what had happened. We wouldn't know this for a few days.
As I was taken back to my room I met back up with Jes and Caleb, thinking that all was fine. We visited with friends and family and spent time with our new boy. With both of my c-sections, I was warned of all the possible side effects of the anesthesia, but for me I shake like none other. This particular time it was so bad that even during delivery I had to physically hold on to the table to get some control over it and, after, I refused to hold Caleb for fear that I would drop him. It took me about 2 hours before I felt even remotely stable enough to hold him but I'm glad I did because I wouldn't get much opportunity to do that before he was whisked off to another part of the hospital.
It was during this recovery time that Jes and I noticed that something wasn't quite right with Caleb and his breathing. We quickly unwrapped him to look at him and discovered that he was retracting and his nostrils were flaring, two signs that he was having difficulty breathing. Jes notified the nurse and he was taken to the nursery with reassuring words that he was probably just having a little trouble transitioning.
A couple of hours later, our little boy was returned to us and we kept him with us off and on for most of the night. The next day was Easter, my most favorite holiday of them all, so Caleb, Jes and I celebrated in our little hospital room taking turns feeding him and holding him and doing all the things that new parents do. Truth be told, Caleb slept through most of it, not caring to eat or open his eyes or anything else. We probably should have been worried, but we just didn't know better.
Jes left around noon to go home, get some things for us, shower and have lunch. During this time a few friends stopped by to see me and Caleb and we had a great time visiting. Shortly after my friends left, a nurse came by and we decided that she and I would try to nurse Caleb, who at this point had eaten nothing and was nearly 20 hours old. We got Caleb to latch and she was fussing with some things in the room and with me and as we both looked at Caleb we were just horrified by what we saw. Caleb was dusky, turning blue.
The nurse picked Caleb up, out of my arms, and ran down the hall with him. I was terrified.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
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