Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Cancer and Competition

Have you guys ever noticed how competitive some folks are?
I'm pretty sure that everyone knows someone who when you engage in conversation with them they always have a come back about how they know someone or are better than your experiences.
I'm not naive and think that my experiences are far and away better than others or that they make me anywhere close to an expert on anything, but I do, however, feel like some of those competitive types of conversations should be taboo.
Obviously the title of my post being one of them.
A couple of weeks ago, I reached out to an acquaintance on a social networking website who had suffered from another type of cancer that, to look at her now, you would never know. Basically, she made me to feel, stopping short of actually saying, that my issue was far and away the most minor issue as compared to hers.
Here's the thing, how would she know when she's never walked the path that I have?
She bears no outward physical (we all have emotional) scars from her cancer. I have a huge one.
No, I didn't have to partake of months and months of chemo, but I did lose a large amount of my hair and eyelashes, much like her.
Do I even think that I can understand or empathize with her? Absolutely not.
I guess my whole point is that until we walk anothers path and know what the experience is to go through what they are going through, we should never assume that we know.
It doesn't matter who you are, you won't ever know.


Joy said...

She wasn't a real friend if she didn't consider what you went through a big issue. I read about your experience and it sounded awful. I hope and pray I never have to experience anything like it or any other kind of cancer. I have a sign that says just walk one day in my flip flops. I love it because you have no idea what someone else is going through until you walk a day in their shoes. I forget that somedays and don't give people the compassion I should. It is hard someday though. Don't let her attitude affect you( even though it is hard) you went through a lot and I am thankful you came out of it okay.

Mathis Family said...

I'm thinking about not even communicating with her anymore. I've noticed that there are lots of people like this within this sad, sad community. Seems so backwards after all we've been through...